is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
