I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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