We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
