found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
