My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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