he shaved USA in his pubs
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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