i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
