I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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