So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
