i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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