u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
