What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
