sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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