He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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