Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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