their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
