idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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