Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
