I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
