I'm eating all of the evidence.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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