i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
