What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
