If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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