im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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