Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
