Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
