I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
