They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
