the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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