Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
