I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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