Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
