Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
