Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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