We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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