Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
