She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Alive.
So much puke
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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