Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Even my vagina gasped.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
