I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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