Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
