Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
