Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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