Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
