She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
