my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
