omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
