Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
