Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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