I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Drake has all the answers
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
