your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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